考试相关
您的位置 首页学习资料考试相关

用“好模板”打造托福考试满分作文

作者: NYTALK管理者 点击:591 难度:介绍
          进入大学应该如何学习英语?大学与高中并不相同。在大学一部分学会了荒废,一部分人学会了执着。不知何时,“模板”这个词进入到了我们的眼帘。太中国风!太分数至上了!而一个优秀的模板,考友们会想:不用担心老师会给我们的。这个时候太多的人实在是太相信众多教育机构老师的精力了,别说每一个人做一个新模板,哪怕是每一个班级做一个新的模板都是不可能的,原因很简单:没那个时间!

  那么我们就只有求助于网络了,但是网络的传播性实在是太广了!一个模板刚刚出现,有可能明天就有100个人在用了,你想想当考官看到100个人写出来的作文都用同样的开头的时候,他将会是什么情景。当然这里指的是国外的考官。国内的考官看到的时候可是很爽的,太棒了!又造出来一帮一模一样的学生,加分点明确,可以给分了!

  当面对重重阻力的时候,很多人不禁产生了怀疑。我们是否应该使用模板?使用模板是否会导致低分?我们到底该用什么模板?其实答案很简单,模板应该用,必须用,大胆用!
  但是有一个十分重要的前提性条件,那就是模板一定是要原创的!原创的?!开玩笑,我们这辈子从来就没自己思考过,一直都是老师喂到我们嘴里的!是的,这就是你一直咒骂中国式教育的起点。其实很多满分作文都是使用了模板,但是由于使用的十分之精巧,同时再加上是原创模板,因此连考官也拿他没有办法,人家写的就是棒吗!
  OK,先来看两段例子!第一段是不好的例子,第二段是好的例子。
  Nowadays, thanks to the development of Internet, we are exposed to a vast ocean of information. Some argue that so much information brings a great benefit to our life and study. But for me, the experience with surfing Internet leads me to believe that accessing much information cause more problems than it solves
  ——————————————————————————————
  Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to students as education. Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding which thing should the education aim at. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that preparing for careers should have primary consideration
  当看到第一篇文章的时候,已经没有了当初得的兴奋,因为这样的文章实在是太常见了!首先Nowadays这个单词是被无数老师推崇的“高级”单词-_-!!!一直无法理解,为什么有的单词会更高级。然后thanks to节宾语,天呐!多么明显的模板!当我往下看的时候,我只能无意识的检查是否有语法错误,没有语法错误的话,我也就只能给个一般的分数就好了。
  但是当看到第二篇文章的时候,初看觉得此文写得不错。用词准确地道,而且完全是自己完成没有模板,但是当我回头再一回味这篇文章的时候,惊讶的发现,这篇文章竟然也是由模板所出!首先Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to students as education。看似平淡无奇,但是实际上Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to就是一个模板,更厉害的是下一句!Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding which thing should the education aim at。这么长的一句话,竟然只有最后3个单词不是模板!然后再接下来,下一句的“given the chance, ”其实对于整句话来说根本就没有任何实际上语义的改变!但适当加进来之后,我们会感觉到非常的地道!之所以无老师感觉如此震惊,原因非常简单,就是因为在这篇文章身上完全看不出半点模板的影子,为什么看不出模板的影子呢?就是因为这篇文章的模板是完全原创的,哪怕不是原创的,也是仅在小范围内流传的!而且这篇文章后面类似的妙手不计其数!
  反过来再看国内流传甚广的403模板,虽然也是胜在模板分量够重,但是由于使用的人实在是太多,实际上已经变成了一颗毒丸。除了让考官恶心致死,爬起来之后给我们一个低分之外,别无其他的效果。当然这里很多人很想看看403模板的阵容。
  In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether AAA or BBB. This problem is the much debated one in that it affects everybody in their daily lives. People may prefer one to another although some may have no opinions about it at all. Before rendering my opinion, I think it is necessary to take a glance at the arguments of both sides
  It is quite easy for average people to choose BBB because of the obvious reason that. It can be given by a well known example that
  But at the mean time, although BBB has some advantages, it also has many drawbacks such as . Therefore we have no complete evidence to suggest that BBB is always better than AAA. What is more, the innate quality of AAA, unfortunately, is often underestimated; in other words,if you notice the invisible benefits of choosing AAA, you can understand AAA more deeply
  Here I would explain a few of the most important reasons. The main reason is that . To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive: -
  — is only part of the important aspects, and another equally significant role of choosing AAA lies in the development of —。
  This demonstrates the undeniable fact that —。
  Besides, the further reason why I advocate AAA is that . This may explain why —。
  In addition, some experts maintain that -. This significant point, however, is often not noticed by most people and accordingly, is unconsciously overlooked
  Finally, as a proverb says, Everything has two sides. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantages of -, I still think that the disadvantages of it are more obvious. Such as , -, and -. This demonstrates that we have no complete evidence to suggest that BBB is always better than AAA
  If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of AAA outweigh those of BBB. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing AAA is a rather wise decision. But I have not denied the opinion that choosing BBB. I must admit that people can do well without AAA, but no one can ignore the added convenience and satisfaction offered by AAA. Such experience will definitely be helpful in ones later life
  像这种开头以In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether AAA or BBB。来作为开始的模板,实在是太多太普遍了。当然还包括“Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that”“In modern society,”当一看到这样的标题,考官就好像用自己的左手握着自己的右手,丝毫感觉不到有任何的激情产生。但是同样是模板,其实如果我们另辟蹊径,换用一种完全不同的手法来写,感觉就是十分的清新。Before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the argument on both sides. 就是这样,虽然同样也是在展示自己的观点,但是由于完全不同于以前我们看到的十分程式化的模板。其实模板很多时候看的不是用多少词,以及句型有多么的夸张,其实很多时候凭借前一个词与我们以前看到的文章的匹配程度,就已经有很强的感觉了。
  当然我们在塑造模板的时候,也是要遵循一定的原则的。
  1 新颖:所谓的新颖不代表说你用了什么新的词,用了什么强调句式,倒装句式,指的是全新的,以前的模板没有用过的话,那么怎么才能知道前人到底用过什么模板呢?很简单,到寄托天下或者太傻的作文互助帖子里面去看一下,不超过20篇,你就对模板是什么样,有一个很深刻的认识了。
  2 结构完整,关于结构完整,无老师在《手把手教你打造满分作文模板()【无老师原创】》发布之后,即有考友给无老师留言,这段写得特别好,无老师原文收录在下面。
  谢谢无老师啊,最近我也在研究模板的构造,我的思路是分成以下几步:
  1. 确定文章主体框架结构,包括引出观点和总结观点的词汇,句式,这个可能是网大多数模板的水平;
  2. 确定论证过程的框架,每个支持段落都有各自的论证模式,举例,因果,对比等,确定到论证的逻辑引导词上;
  3. 通过改写句子,采用合适的词汇代替以上两步的成果;
  4. 改变句式,将各类语法结够加入其中:倒装,独立主格结构,虚拟语气等。
  这位考友的思路是十分完备的,按照这个思路再加上充足的练习,几乎可以预见到这位考友的分数将是无限接近满分的。
  那么我们其实就可以按照这位考友的思路来走。首先第一步确定主体结构,其实现在的托福[微博]作文总体来说大多采取3-5段式。第1段点题,第2-4段展开,最后一段,也就是第5段收尾。
  这是整体的文章结构,具体到每一段之内,也是遵循这个思路,第12句表明本段的主题,然后接下来几句话进行支持,如果是第一段、那么在该段落的最后还要给第二段留出引子,以及在最后一段最后12句还要进行总结,以及强调自己的观点。
  至于第三步,改写句子对于大多数人来说,其实还是寻找句子,然后才是改写句子。搜集句子与改写句子其实是一个互相辅助的关系,你搜集的好句子多了,那么你改写的难度就低了;反过来,你搜集的好句子少,那么相应的要取得高分,你需要做的改写就多了。因此从这个角度来看,还是一开始就把搜集句子这个步骤做扎实来得好。
  要说搜集句子,首先要有一个坚强的后盾,那么这些后盾从哪里来呢?
  这要看你需要什么句子,如果是找每一段开篇点题的句子,最好还是找一些文学性比较强的东西,比如说一些给白领看的经济类文章,我们经常提到了的[经济学人].The.Economist。就属此类。要想寻找经济学家的话最好还是去verycd这个网站http://www.verycd.com/topics/2727001/ 这里就是一个很好的选择。比如说无老师就从20081115日这一期的第12页找到了一个很好的句子,很适合当文章的开头。Asked what China will do to rescue the world from financial turmoil, its officials these days have a boilerplate answerits greatest contribution will be to keep its own economy running smoothly。我们把它放在Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer这个作文题目之下,就可以改写成Asked what teachers will do to improve their students, the response in high schools have a boilerplate answerthe greatest contribution of homework will be to keep its their students appreciating their knowledge entirely
  那么我们提炼一下Asked what …… will do to ……, the response in …… have a boilerplate answerthe greatest contribution of …… will be to keep its their ……。就是一个十分优秀的作文开头模板。
  我们也可以从同样是20081115日这一期的120页找到Further evidence of emerging markets potential comes from the experience of Britains AstraZeneca in China这一句只要稍加修改就可以变成一个非常优秀的2-4段的段落开头,首先把他模板化Further evidence of …… comes from the experience of …… in ……。然后再加入一点倒装句式来证明我们的文学水平Not only does ……come from the experience of …… in ……., but (also) evidence of ……subsequently(further) prove……这样一个优秀的论证段的段首句模板就完成了。
  至于例子的模板,那么就是新闻的天下了,我们仍然可以在《经济学人The.Economist》里面寻找,当然也可以到新华网的英文版里面寻找。比如说在新华网http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2010-01/13/content_12804141.htm 无老师就找到了这么一句话South Koreas capital city now has been named their most favored travel destination two years in row, according to the report, as 11.4 percent of the Chinese, 9.8 percent of the Japanese, and an overwhelming 20.0 percent of the Thai expressed their preference for Seoul, toppling cities like Tokyo, Paris and Honolulu in the survey. 这里面我们就可以把这个句子直接提炼为模板…… now has been named their most favored …… two years in row, according to the report, as 11.4 percent of the ……, 9.8 percent of the ……, and an overwhelming 20.0 percent of the …… expressed their preference for ……, toppling cities like , and in the survey相识的数字,加上确凿的低点,一切显得都是那么无可辩驳,但是实际上这就是一个模板。
  当然我们不肯能每一个句子都是这么长,因此我们可以加入很多For example, Therefore, 所引导的句子来增强文章内部的节奏感,使得读者不会感觉到过于疲惫。
 
  至于末段的模板则是有一些讲究的,但是当无老师看了无数篇作文和《经济学人The.Economist》的文章之后,无老师开始反思我们很多学生写的“ After ruminating over all these factors, ”“It is more advantageous for us to make decision alone,”“As far as I am concerned, I come to the notion that”这类作文结尾,是否是一种符合欧美人思维的文章,因为你只要稍微把经济学人的文章找几篇文章的结尾看一下就会知道,其实这里面绝大多数时候,都是以罗列多方观点作为末段的开头。然后以开放式的笔法来进行结尾。这与我们很多学生写的一面倒型的结尾是完全不同的。
  但是既然我们想制造的就是中国是模板,那么好吧,请将“ After ruminating over all these factors, ”“It is more advantageous for us to make decision alone,”“As far as I am concerned, I come to the notion that”收入你的囊中,其实这几个模板结尾还是不错的。但是这同时也给无老师一个启示,就是这两篇文章其实仅仅是一个小小的开始,无老师后面将写大量的文章来探讨模板的制造。无老师真的不清楚这是在帮助中国的考生,还是继续毒害中国的考生,但是既然那么多的考生从分数中受益,